Now, I avoid being negative.
“I was born and raised in Chennai and I lived in India for a long time. I did not know about Auroville. I worked in the US, and there, my eldest sister was talking about this place, but I wasn’t too interested in it. Although the work in the US was very good for me – I have been in the industry of films and ads – I missed the aspect of developing my inner being. One fine day me and my family we decided to come here to see the place. Right from the US we landed in the Aspiration huts in 2002. My son was seven years old. We felt that he was more connected to his being here: On the very first day he threw off his shoes and went barefoot for the next few years. We felt like we came home. This is the longest I have ever stayed in one place. I don’t think I will move on again, as something here is holding me strongly.
When I came here I had this set of skills from the industry on a very high level, as I was one of the first people to get into special effects in India. I had developed this skill that was very vital in the film and advertising industry. I came here, and I asked myself, ‘What do I do with this?’ I came across Manoj, and we started discussing over a tea. We came up with the idea to make videos on Integral Yoga, and we called it Evolution Fast-forward. This changed my whole skill set in connection to Auroville. The project lasted 8 years, and these videos we made were popular. We got a lot of support from outside, for example in Chennai the IIT took this on as an optional psychology subject. We worked with musicians of the Ashram and that kind of created a bridge between Auroville and the Ashram. The Oneness Program came out of this. I felt that it gave a very good meaning to my work.
It also gave me space to reflect. I was spending a lot of time on the computer alone; it was intense. So I sat at home thinking of what I could do. At the time I bought my first Smartphone, thinking that maybe I will need it to communicate with people. My son was in the US at the time and he sent me a hat, he said, ‘You might need this.’ A few weeks later there was an open call for Matrimandir executives. I didn’t have the work experience, but because of my degree in engineering, I had a lot of technical knowledge. I got the job, and this has thrown me into an opposite direction. I have been working internally a lot since I started this position. There are a lot of positive and a lot of negative aspects to it. It will last another year, this position at Matrimandir.
Here, there is a genuine sense of being involved with yourself; you are called to go inside. The outside world is focusing more on the outside distractions. Here one is forced to reflect and look at oneself, even if you don’t want to. In that sense, it is a place for evolution to ‘fast-forward’: The Mother created Auroville to fast-forward the evolution of consciousness. She has brought down the Supramental consciousness for the entire world. Right now we are all quite confused about it, but I am sure clarity will come.
At this stage, Auroville is like a big joint family and like in any other family, you have a lot of good and a lot of nasty stuff going on. Now, I avoid being negative. I faced so much of it being here, but you learn that when you go into this space you won’t be happy, it is the complete opposite of why I want to be here. I didn’t notice this aspect so much when I was working on the videos, as I was quite isolated and only spent time with people that I got along with. Since I joined Matrimandir, I face everyone. Once you are out in the community, you realize that you can’t take on a negative attitude, criticize and so on, so I stopped doing that.
I have faced no big challenges since I am here, not as much as outside. I feel that in Auroville the amount of challenges that come to you have a lot to do with your own psychological peace. I didn’t come from outside very stressed-out, and I was always looking for something better. When you come here, you are seeking for something. If you are looking for a place to curse things, that is also possible. For me it was not like that, living in Auroville for me is about being one with humanity. It is a very idealistic dream, but there it is.”